How To Get Into A Fight At The Opera

I´ve written before about the spectacular opera house that we have here in Valencia. All year round it provides a programme of the finest works and the best performers. Added to that, my brother-in-law actually works there and so complimentary tickets are often available to me. But last night I witnessed something truly amazing. As part of the summer festival, an excerpt from Wagner´s ´Valkyrie´opera was staged outside, on top of and suspended in the air above the opera house. Sadly this is the best picture I could manage but it does give you some idea of the scale. But I´ll return to that presently, first the fight.

The event was outdoors, and free to the public. And when we arrived there was a crowd in the thousands waiting. Many had camped on the large road that was closed off especially, and of those most were seated. But I knew that most of the action would be in the air, and thus I along with a few hardy others remained standing. After a while there were a few shouts of ´sit down´and the occasional whistle. But I knew they´d all be standing up for the show, so stood my ground. But the shouting got worse, and more unpleasant. What made it more annoying is that they were wrong, and even though we tried to explain, they wouldn´t listen. But I´m a stubborn sod when I get going, and the more they jeered the more I stood stock still. I was accompanied by my mother-in-law who was similarly unmoved and who shot the pithy comment ´what did you pay for the tickets then´in their direction.

But I can get riled easily and didn´t let it go at that. When the jeers became more like a chorus I lost my temper, turned round and gave the finger to at least 100 people. As you may imagine this did nothing to defuse the situation, and the shouting got worse. I´ll confess it was a strange situation and I started to feel a little uncomfortable, was I prepared to take this to the next level and actually fight someone, and would that make me the opera´s first hooligan ? So, not wanting to spoil the evening with a brawl that I would certainly lose, I withdrew to a safe distance, but as I walked off they cheered and so I turned round and did the ´wanker´symbol to maybe 300 people. Am I proud ? You bet your arse I am.

But getting back to the show, it was a dramatic excerpt from one of Wagner´s most famous pieces. The booming music was pumped out of giant speakers, and acrobats were suspended by cranes (as hopefully you can see) as a light show filled the night sky. Some performers even appeared standing on the top and sides of what is a huge building, and with the aid of ropes were seen running along the wall Spiderman style. But the best part was saved for last, when the structure you can see, complete with 30 acrobats was hoisted to an incredible height by a giant crane. There was no safety net, and no mat beneath them, and this was the climax to a brilliant piece of theatre. I´ve never seen anything like it, the music, the lights and the sheer size of the performance were all superb. Wagner would have been chuffed, despite being by all accounts a miserable old sod.

Best bit of all though, was when I looked round and saw my tormentors all forced to stand up or be run over by a tractor. Game, set, match and copy of Touché Weekly to me I think.