Is This The Playstation 4 ?

Almost certainly not. After all it's way too cool for a start. I mean have you seen the PS3 slim ? It looks like a black brick of matt plastic, and is about as cool as a dinner tray. Sony are not known for cool design, which is generally okay because the innards of their machines are usually better than the rest (and yes, that includes you Microsoft).

But it would be great to have a piece of kit that looked like this, like a high end loudspeaker that only millionaires and hopeless nerds can afford. Of course as anyone who owns an Apple product knows, coolness comes at a premium. And as I expect that the next Playstation will also be the last, I suppose Sony will actually want to sell a few. Still, one can dream.

The Return Of The Sein

My favourite sitcom of all time is 'Seinfeld'. Proof of that are the 9 DVD box sets that sit behind me on a shelf. And like most 'Seinfeld' fans I also adore 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' starring 'Seinfeld' co-creator Larry David. The latter show is a companion piece to the earlier one, ruder, more daring but still based on the same comedy foundations. The cast members of 'Seinfeld' have all duly appeared in 'Curb' over the years, but in season 7, they all reappeared.

Many classic shows return for reunion shows, but 'Seinfeld' was always different from the mainstream, so when they decided to come back they did it in a unique way. The idea of a reunion of the show formed the central plot device for the latest 'Curb' season, and so we have a 'show within a show' scenario. In episodes of 'Curb' we see the 'Seinfeld' cast rehearse a new show, and then we see large chunks of the finished article but watched through the 'Curb' universe.

It sounds complicated but it's actually very simple and very effective. The original cast look great, the script they follow is up to scratch and the whole thing is totally authentic. And as it's as close as we're ever likely to get to another actual episode of 'Seinfeld' it should be treasured. Indeed I wouldn't be surprised, given the way it ended if this becomes the final season of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' too. If so then they picked the perfect moment to stop.

BANG !

Strap yourselves in people, the Big Bang machine is back in action. Over a year ago this ludicrously expensive machine broke down as soon as someone pushed the 'on' switch. Only now is the thing fixed, and working again. It has been criticised a great deal, not only for the cost but also because of the tiny possibility that it might create a black hole and destroy the planet. This eventuality has been dismissed by sciency people as being nearly impossible, and to be fair similar colliders in other parts of the world have seen no such issues. Although I'm not entirely happy with the use of the word 'nearly' next door to that of 'impossible'. Still, they wouldn't listen to me anyway.

But of the cost implications I feel there is a stronger argument against. 10 Billion dollars is a lot of money. If we lived in a Utopia where everybody had food, shelter and safe drinking water I'd be the first to encourage these guys to build their big tube, just so long as they went underground to play with it. But we don't live in that world, and large areas of the planet are blighted with living conditions that most of us couldn't imagine. Of course they tell us that it's all worth it because we may find out what caused the Big Bang. Those results, if produced, will appear as an item on the news one night and then be buried in a science journal thereafter. Will it really change our lives, I imagine not.

So the question remains as to whether the LHC is a justifiable expense in this day and age, or a white elephant. When it was first unveiled I was a firm supporter of the project, but as time has passed and nothing has happened, I've realised that I cannot think of a single comparable example of something which cost so much money with such a vague promise of results. But I suppose only time will tell, and at least it's now working and so they have more opportunity to justify its existence. I just hope they do so in a way that doesn't make it look like a colossal vanity project that we could have lived without before we get everyone eating food. Not, of course, that the money would have gone to the poor anyway, it would have just stayed lodged in the wallets of those who have enough dosh to pay for this sort of thing.

Tottenham Hotspur 9 - 1 Wigan Athletic

Need I say more ?

Bye Bye Oprah, You Won't Be Missed In This House

Oprah Winfrey sent shock waves around the world today by announcing that her talk show will end in 2011. My reaction to this bombshell ? Well, perhaps even she has enough money now ?

Now let me be clear, I have nothing against Oprah Winfrey as a concept. She seems harmless enough, and has had a generally positive impact on many aspects of American society. But her talk show makes me puke.

I don't know whether it is the Olympic level of sycophancy on display (which she apparently does nothing to discourage) or simply the cloying sentimentality that powers the show like a giant battery. Actually, it's probably the latter. Because that level of shmaltz isn't safe to watch without first covering your eyes with a piece of smoked glass. Even then you may be damaged by a few stray chunks of vomit.

Oh no, even better, it's the Oprah book club, where the very fact that she encourages people to read books makes her admired and adored. I'm sorry, but anybody who doesn't realise that there is very little better in life than reading a good book, can go to Hell via reality TV. Does Oprah deserve a medal for pointing this out, no, no more than I deserve a medal for encouraging people to breathe oxygen. Although the painful attempt by Richard & Judy to imitate her in this respect almost redeems her, given that Richard gives the impression that he normally reads nothing more challenging than the dry cleaning instructions on his suit.

So when she hangs up her microphone in 2011, I won't shed an artificial tear. Besides which, given that she has more money that God, I expect she'll be comfortable. Let's just pray she doesn't go into politics any further than being seen crying at Obama's victory party. When I saw that I imagined that millions of Americans felt like withdrawing their vote. Having said that, given the current nature of TV, she'll probably be replaced by a man repeatedly hitting himself in the face with a hammer. At least her show involved full sentences.

Dead ?

Now this makes me feel old. In the early 80's my Dad bought a CD player. We hooked it up to the stereo and heard a quality of sound that had up to then been no more than the dreams of a madman. As time passed our collection increased from the early days of James Last (and no, I'm not joking) to things that were actually good. For my generation the CD was the fulfilment of every fantasy that we'd ever had about music. And even now it still seems fresh, exciting and cool. But my generation it seems, is being prepared for the grave.

Today one of the biggest niche music equipment manufacturers, called Linn, announced that they were abandoning the production of CD players in favour of streaming technology. This is curious because Linn is what's known as an audiophile manufacturer, i.e. they make high end kit for music nerds. But they reckon that it is now possible to get stuff online which is better quality than the CD. This puzzles me because I always thought that MP3s were essentially stripped down versions of CD quality, and consequently not as good. But things have clearly moved on. In this age of high speed broadband, CDs have apparently been superseded.

This shouldn't come as a great shock given that my record collection has long ago been ripped onto iTunes and now physically resides in a cream box in the garage. But I still kind of thought that CD was the current technology. Now it seems that we'll all soon be streaming music to devices all over the shop, and our record collections will amount to nothing more than a humming box under the desk. There is one benefit though, I don't believe that James Last and his orchestra have made the transition. Ah well, there are always casualties in any technological advance.

BUY IT !!

VERY few people genuinely make me laugh, but Michael McIntyre does. He has a new video out, and deserves all the success he gets. If you can, buy his works, in all their glory.

I Know What I Said But...

I promised I wouldn't talk about it again, but I now have an iPhone, and I'm buggered if I can find a single fault with the thing ! Normally when I buy a new piece of kit (and you must bear in mind that consumer electronics are my version of crack cocaine) I always have to wait a while to get it. In that waiting period I fantasise the thing into almost mythical proportions, so that when I actually get it, it's something of a let down. Well, not so with the iPhone.

As good as I thought it would be (and I fantasise an awful lot) it has surpassed my expectations. In comparison, my previous phone looks like a lump of coal with some buttons. Oh yes it was expensive, and I will quickly run out of kidneys whilst paying the monthly bills, but I so don't care. You could argue that the battery could last longer, but it lasts for the day so who cares ? Anyway given that it's doing stuff that NASA would find somewhat tricky, I can forgive a bit of power drain.

When you consider that my first computer was actually a ZX81, I cannot believe what Apple have achieved here. My parents-in-law have just obtained new Sony Ericsson phones, and they are perfectly okay, but compared to my iPhone they look like cavemen that have broken into a Noel Coward convention. Everything this thing does is amazing, and I cannot quite get my head around it. Not only does it have more functions than are possible to remember when boasting, but EVERYTHING it does is better than EVERYTHING ELSE. I know people have come on here and given it some stick, but I don't believe any of those people have owned one. If they had they would have been in as much awe as I am. And I'm a very tough audience, it takes a lot to impress me, I come 'pre-disappointed' in most areas of life. But not this time.

I've always loved my iPod, and quite literally use it every day of my life. But the iPhone is just silly in its competence, and in a world where hype generally stands in for quality, I am genuinely amazed. And all I can think of is what their other products must be like. In particular that 'fuck off' 27 inch iMac that looks so cool that I actually feel that I'd need to redecorate my office before buying one. My good friend Mr. Soanes advised me that people that buy Apple products soon become salesmen for them. And this is because in a world where we are increasingly sold an exquisitely polished turd, the Apple iPhone exceeds every expectation I could have had for it. And given that I am a hopeless fantasist, that's saying a hell of a lot. The only problem I have in life right now, is scraping together the €1500 that a top of the range iMac costs. Although now I know it'll be worth every damn penny.

3 Strikes And You're A Very Naughty Boy

And so in a rather tiresomely predictable way, the U.K. government has introduced plans to disconnect file-sharers. This has been in the wind for a while, after Peter Mandelson rather unexpectedly announced it, contradicting the 'Digital Britain' report, which mentioned no such idea. But avid followers of British criminal law shouldn't be surprised. We already have some of the toughest laws anywhere in the world, I should know, I spent 15 years questioning them. And before you get technical on me, whether this actually becomes criminal or civil law is irrelevant, the effect is the same.

This poster, produced in America, shows you the level of debate we have about this, and we have as usual followed the American model, and then exceeded it. The Americans, for all their big lawsuits and fighting talk, have no current plans to cut people off the internet. The only other country that has done it is France, and that has met with a lot of criticism. But, undeterred by that, we in the U.K. are going to do it anyway, even though nobody knows how it will work.

So, like so many other bits of new law that have bastardised the criminal justice system, it's going to be rail-roaded onto the statute books, and all criticisms ignored. This is why the British criminal law is a mess, and also why it gives unprecedented power to the State. And you know what the irony is ? All these years of being 'tough on crime' and the crime rate has never been higher. It's never been less safe to walk the streets, the level of serious crime is at an all time high and all these measures seem to have had no impact at all. But hey, never mind, let's all close our eyes and plough on. After all, as we all know, it isn't about actually changing stuff, just giving the appearance of doing so.

Oh and one more thing, out of the original three architects of 'New Labour', how is it that Mandelson is the only one that's still going strong ?

Is This Really The Way We Should Be Passing The Years ?

It's a cliché to say that life is short, and when you're young it doesn't feel like it, quite the opposite in fact. But as you grow older, and you lose a few people you begin to realise that all that we are will one day be nothing. Someone else will be living in our house, doing our job and aspiring to the same things that we did. As for us we'll be but a name recorded on official documents. Will our grandchildren think about us greatly, not likely. And even if they do, what good will that really do us ?

With these thoughts in mind, I do wonder why we are so prepared to fritter our time away as if it's endless. And programmes like 'I'm A Celebrity' (which has just re-started in the U.K.) seem to drain life away at a greater rate than normal. If we all had to carry around a clock, where the days of our lives ticked down to that fateful day, I imagine we'd all be a little more circumspect in how we fill our time. Does watching Christopher Biggins in a bra really constitute a positive evening, or would we have been better off contemplating Proust whilst sipping a chilled glass of white wine ?

Call me a dreamer but watching has been celebrities eat kangaroo anus isn't really the life I had hoped for when I was young. I don't see why people watch it all, nor why they become remotely interested in who 'wins'. Actually I find it annoying and rather uncomfortable to see the desperation on the faces of those that used to be famous, and who are now hoping against hope for some career redemption which will put them back on top again. For my part I'd rather look away and spare both our blushes and in the meantime try and make those precious seconds feel just a little more valued.

Sunset Over Valencia

Over the last few weeks I've noticed that there have been some amazing sunsets in this city. As it's still very sunny here (30 C today) we have some great sunsets, but as yet I haven't been in a good enough position to actually photograph one. So I offer a professional shot I found which rather dramatically captures two of the new buildings in the city. On the left is the IMAX cinema and on the right the opera house.

However, now that I'm armed with my iPhone at all times (and yes I worship it) I hope to get some snaps of my own and plonk them up here. I doubt they'll be as good as this one, but you never know. In the meantime feel free to enjoy this lovely picture.

Further Proof That TV Is Better Than The Movies

I've started watching 'House' recently, and once you get over Hugh Laurie's American accent, it turns out to be a highly watchable show. The dialogue is well written, the narratives sophisticated and above all it's unlike anything else on TV. But most of all it is yet another example of how good TV is in general. There were always good TV shows, but the depth of quality is now quite astounding.

TV was always traditionally the poor relation of the film world. The latter was where the talent, money and best writing always went. Well, not any more. When you look at young film makers these days you either see worthy documentarians or young guys that want to be rock stars. What you don't see are directors with the talent of Scorsese, Coppola, Spielberg etc.. Instead we have a lot of blockbusters that are stuffed with special effects and seemingly written by toddlers. This whole demographic idea, that only boys between 18-30 watch movies has ruined the industry in recent years. Films are now theme park rides, where the director doesn't allow there to be a single dull moment just in case the audience walks out or grows a brain. When did thinking become such a derided concept ?

So it's TV that now provides the grey matter for lovers of drama and comedy. On TV your intelligence isn't insulted and it's taken as read that you can actually concentrate. I love film, but increasingly find myself watching older stuff as so much of what they produce now just isn't worth the effort or expense of going to a cinema. Far better to stay in front of the telly with a boxset of House, or a dozen other shows of similar quality.